Everything has already been decided. It was known long ago what each person would be. So there's no use arguing with God about your destiny. ~ Ecclesiastes 6:10
Last night I spent a portion of my evening thinking about my destiny...worrying about it mostly. I will admit I'm still having many days where I doubt God's work in my life, where I'm not sure why He is leaving us hanging, why He's giving me so much time for doubting. It doesn't make sense....I mean really? Here we are, two people that love each other and love God and who always had a GOOD plan - A plan to raise a family and live peacefully, help others...enjoy life.
The afternoon came and the kids were resting after playing long and hard in the sunshine. I felt all of the sudden a craving to be alone, to meditate....to read Scripture. I didn't know what to read or why all of the sudden I was "inspired" but I listened to my heart. I grabbed my Bible and my iphone and went outside under the trees. I put on some soft music and sat watching the birds in our yard...every now and then a light yellow butterfly would pass me. I flipped my Bible open and read the verse from Ecclesiastes.
Last night I spent a portion of my evening thinking about my destiny...worrying about it mostly. I will admit I'm still having many days where I doubt God's work in my life, where I'm not sure why He is leaving us hanging, why He's giving me so much time for doubting. It doesn't make sense....I mean really? Here we are, two people that love each other and love God and who always had a GOOD plan - A plan to raise a family and live peacefully, help others...enjoy life.
The afternoon came and the kids were resting after playing long and hard in the sunshine. I felt all of the sudden a craving to be alone, to meditate....to read Scripture. I didn't know what to read or why all of the sudden I was "inspired" but I listened to my heart. I grabbed my Bible and my iphone and went outside under the trees. I put on some soft music and sat watching the birds in our yard...every now and then a light yellow butterfly would pass me. I flipped my Bible open and read the verse from Ecclesiastes. I think I just sat there shocked for a moment...I felt strange that after so many weeks of struggling internally and tossing and turning ONCE AGAIN over my "no control of my life" predicament, I finally got it...again.
My destiny is to be a mother...a good one. Some days I feel like I should be fired from that job, other days a raise should be in order. Either way, I know that this is why God gave my life. He wanted me to birth these four little children, to raise them to know Him, to love others ... to be kind. This is my purpose. He wanted me to marry Zac and to be his GOOD wife...not his "nag" or "constant drip" (I struggle with that one sometimes.) He made me to take pleasure in His creation and to feel Him in me .... I can do this anywhere at anytime. I don't have to be living in the West or in a big home or have the perfect children or the *right time* to do that. I can always praise God...this is my gift.
My destiny is to be a mother...a good one. Some days I feel like I should be fired from that job, other days a raise should be in order. Either way, I know that this is why God gave my life. He wanted me to birth these four little children, to raise them to know Him, to love others ... to be kind. This is my purpose. He wanted me to marry Zac and to be his GOOD wife...not his "nag" or "constant drip" (I struggle with that one sometimes.) He made me to take pleasure in His creation and to feel Him in me .... I can do this anywhere at anytime. I don't have to be living in the West or in a big home or have the perfect children or the *right time* to do that. I can always praise God...this is my gift. I'm off to make a pastry. I've been depriving my children of home baked treats for awhile now so it's time for them to have some sugary goodness. Today I know my destiny...and I'm not arguing about it.
1 comment:
Thank you for this Alyssa. What a good reminder. I often struggle with this "no control" also. However, with opposite questions usually...why do I not have a family of my own...why am I not yet a wife, a mother...the things I have always wanted. But for now that is not my purpose. My purpose is to do what I am here and now and trust GOD to lead me through my life's destiny.
Anyway, thank you, friend.
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