It Happened

It finally happened....at the perfect time. It wasn't my timing that we heard from Him .... but I'm understanding now why we've been waiting. My heart is filled with so many mixed emotions about the news...the GOOD news - we are moving.

I knew when Zac flew out to Colorado last week that the answer would be "yes." It was in my mind...when I would ask God to show us I felt a peace and I knew that it was the right timing. When Zac told me that he got the job I knew it already. We are moving in less than 6 weeks.

The day after I found out that this would be the last full month in our home, a whole whirlwind of emotions went in and around my heart and flooded down my cheeks in a torrent of tears. I love our little home...I did the first time that Zac and I stepped into it, Brady in my stomach. I knew that it was perfect for us and i remember thinking that the hardwood floors just gleamed - the yard was so spacious and green and had mature trees. There was a porch where we could sit and watch the birds (some mornings I've counted 9 cardinals in our yard all at once.) I envisioned myself with a garden and my littles around my feet while I planted and picked. I knew all these things would happen because I wanted them.
We've had so many good times in our house. We've grown here...I became an adult in this little house on Mt Vernon. We've had 7 Christmas trees in this home...we brought our first baby home here..and then found out 4 more times that we were expecting, and I lost one baby here late in the night. My granny Toole sat on my couch once upon a time and sang to my baby Trinity...now she looks down on her from heaven. My Papa John slept on my couch for a few nights, he and I picked turnips together and crab apples ... now he is looking down on me from heaven. My home reminds me of them.
I've experienced joy and heartbreak and hope here. I found out that my little boy will have special needs for the rest of his life....I've cried about it and wondered about it and fought God about...HERE in this home. I've watched Brady grow and blossom...walk down our driveway and bravely and boldly hop on a bus that would take him to his first day of school - all here. I've never lived ANYWHERE as long as I have here - it's just strange.
Zac and I have had many people touch our lives here...starting with our wedding and all of the help and support to make that day beautiful. He had to give up one of his dreams here in Georgia....and he found another one. He has fulfilled my dreams - he has loved me through good and bad, through sickness and in health - he has helped me find myself, I think I've helped him know better who he is. He has given me all that I've ever wanted..security. We have learned the secret of a good marriage (sometimes we forget we know) - and if you are living in a 900 square foot home with 6 others you better like your spouse (that's all I'm sayin' !)
Hours and hours of play outside, sitting on the porch and laughing at our babies antics.
Little squirrel is one of the most precious blessings of my life ... she keeps it real like her mama.
I love how when I first walked through our house, and I saw the sunny windows in the dining room...I imagined family dinners at the table, a Christmas tree in the corner....I imagined little babies playing together in the light - and it happened.
Some of my best memories were before Tristan was born...and I started discovering grace and I began learning about my value...I became confident about parts of me that are different. I began learning about natural healing, learned to bake bread and even tried my hand at making apple butter - I shelled beans barefoot on the front porch in a long skirt and felt industrious and beautiful. I would look into my little's eyes and know, at that moment, that this was (IS) my purpose.
Leaving this home will be hard..there have been so many good memories. I will miss the trees and the flowers and the birds. I love country life, always have. I love the simplicity.
When I look outside at the rope hanging lonesomely under our big oak tree, I'm hit hard with the knowledge that soon...the kids will no longer be running barefoot....they won't be in the driveway digging in the dirt - they will have a different life.
I'm excited about the future...having grandparents for the kids, having more opportunities career wise for Zac, being able to offer Brady things that aren't provided in our small town - I'm excited that God heard our prayers and answered. I feel so blessed by all of the people in our lives that have been truly excited for us.

The timing is perfect though. Brady got to spend his first year in school with a very loving teacher that has made him feel very important and very special. We are moving probably only a couple weeks before we would have had to leave our house due to foreclosure. My friend is getting married May 5th, and I get to be here for that - I would have DIED if I couldn't have been there on her special day. We get to move during Colorado's best weather...the nieces and nephews will almost be on school break so hopefully we can have some good quality family time this summer! And...my best friend will be living in the same city as me once again (or shall I say that I'll be living in the same city as her.)
I told Zac that even though I'm basically getting rid of 3/4 of our things, I have to take our porch swing with us. Two many good talks have happened on that swing, to many lazy afternoons with a good book, too many kisses....
And Trinity, with her first baby doll on her first birthday .... I will miss our porch.
It's so strange to think that we will be having a Colorado Christmas this year..hopefully there will be more room in our rental for a Christmas tree then there has been here. :) I'm looking forward to having a bedroom - the first thing Zac and I are buying is a new bed. :)

It's going to be hard saying goodbye, but it's comforting to know I'll also be saying "hello." More later...

Alyssa