Aug 12, 2009

Goodbye Gym...Goodbye self doubt

So awhile back we joined the gym. It was a good thought...tons of "bright" ideas as to why I needed a gym membership...good for bouncing back into my pre-baby body, good to get away now and then and exert myself, good for Zac and I to have alone time for a hour a couple times a week. I love the fact that Zac can go and workout without it effecting his knees....he loves lifting weights and he's started swimming a bit. I'm so glad for him that we found a way for him to be active...even though it doesn't quite fill the void of a "soccerless" lifestyle. :( now after weeks of the inward struggle "I should be at the gym" I have decided to drop my membership. Instead of relaxation of mind and body it's been totally opposite. When I'm at the gym I feel like I should be with my kids, when I'm at home I think I should be at the gym. It's like I can't even sit down with a cup of coffee during the kid's nap because in the back of my head is "you're paying for a should be exercising." I don't really like leaving the kids in childcare (even though it is nice there and the teachers are GREAT) but when I do I then focus too much on how out of shape I am and what I wish I could accomplish. Or I compare myself to all the suburban housewives that are around me....*looking* like total perfection with their 2 karat wedding rings, perfect tans and 100 dollar workout shoes.
Basically, this is the season in my life to be with my kids and at my house. I enjoy aerobics so I think I'll just stick with it and save the difference. $$$
I will miss working out with Zac sometimes but the truth is that he gets a better workout when I'm NOT there and he can stay a little longer because we're not in a rush to get back to the kids, or I'm needing to nurse, ext. Anyways, wish me luck in my new endeavor to exercise at home - it really is important to me(exercise) but I guess my frame of mind is even more important to everyone right now. Yah...the gym isn't all it's hyped up to be...I'll save it for a year or two. Meanwhile, I told Zac that I want him to give me the cash every month that my membership cost. :) Just joking...that wouldn't really be saving now would it?

1 comment:

The Toplovs said...

Good thoughts. I think we're on the same page: wanting to get back into shape and realizing the importance for exercise giving more engery, but desiring more to be with our kids at home. I gave up the gym a while back for some of the same reasons you did and I've not regretted it for a second. :)

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