It's August...and I'm Well

It was a great first day of August - I feel like I started the month of right, made some headway into my goals. I finally got down to the school office and filed the paperwork to begin homeschooling Trin. She was stoked because they gave her free skittles which she ate (sucked on slowly and dramatically and then mixed them with water....) on our way to her first play date.
I'm please to say that she FINALLY found a couple of girls to interact with which did this little mama's heart MUCH good. I'm so thankful that she has brothers and that she isn't alone all day long, at the same time...she has brothers and all that that implies (and more.) We had a great time picnicking and enjoying eachother's company, and meeting some new people. I found the park all by myself...didn't get lost once on the way there. The way back was a slightly different story...it took me 40 extra minutes, I pulled over twice...turned around at least 5 times....asked a person on the side of the road to help and was STILL lost. After a rather anxious call to my hubby...he directed my back home safe and sound. I would literally be lost without him (hahaha.)

Since moving here my thoughts on Colorado have changed dramatically from my utopia image that use to be in my head. It's like every other place on earth....you can find breathtaking views, gorgeous serene nature filled places, friendly faces and granola loving mothers with their babies strapped to them...and then there are ugly places, unsafe places...rude people and LOTS of honking cars, cocoa puff mothers and daycare babies - it has some of everything. It's real.

So, I guess since I'm pretty real me and Colorado will get along. We finally have our Colorado license plates so we are very much *official* residents. Strange how something so simple, a piece of metal stamped with some letters and numbers....can seem so final and so life changing.

I think though that we are getting into the groove...I think August will bring some normalcy and some routine with school starting and Zac's schedule being all laid out for him this month. I love having my calender all highlighted and words written in all the boxes and things crossed off so that I can feel productive.

This month HOPEFULLY will bring Brady a good beginning at school. I will be making my herbal tinctures to have them ready for the fall (homemade cough syrup and my Children's Composition), I would also like to paint a couple more picture and continue continue continue to practice and to learn. I'll be starting *school* with Trin and I also have high hopes of this being a month of starting friendships with other mothers. I'm going to begin reading The Shack and I also have some new vegetarian cookbooks (free kindle uploads) that I'll be sorting through and hopefully trying some new food. Another goal is to visit the farmer's market once a week - it was so very enjoyable last Sunday.

I think all is well right now....not perfect - but well, in my soul. I feel a deep peace and I know that God is watching over me and mine and that He loves us with infinite love, He has forever reaching grace and always open arms - and for now I feel well.

The Cloud

Percy Bysshe Shelley

I bring fresh showers for the thirsting flowers,

From the seas and the streams;
I bear light shade for the leaves when laid

In their noonday dreams.

From my wings are shaken the dews that waken

The sweet buds every one,
When rocked to rest on their mother's breast,
As she dances about the sun.

I wield the flail of the lashing hail,
And whiten the green plains under,

And then again I dissolve it in rain,
And laugh as I pass in thunder.

Domestic...Is Back

My friends....the domestic Alyssa is back - in a big way. In a *cleaning with vinegar, digging out the percolator coffee pot, cooking up meals from scratch, and head swimming with craft ideas* type way. Yes indeed....I think I'm me again. Maybe it's the month of September that has given me this *burst* of energy (Lord knows I'm not getting any more sleep thanks to my night owl named Finn) - maybe God has given me another dose of hope....but I'm just feeling happy.
Today I did just a few things -
~planted our seasonal mums with the two middle kids (can you have two middle?!)
~washed a load of laundry
~cooked two meals
~gathered kindling for our outdoor fireplace
~chopped wood for our outdoor fireplace( okay, okay...just a few pieces but still....I did use an axe)
~did a hour of school with Brady and Trin

~played hide and go seek
~played Snow White (once again I had to be the evil queen...I never get to play the heroine)
~changed 8 diapers...cleaned up 3 pee messes
~ gave two kids bubble baths
~dug the percolator out of the shed (I'm craving REAL coffee...none of this coffee maker jazz)
~played Duck Duck Goose with three kids that found the game very complicated. ???
~trimmed Trin's hair
...and the list goes on - but I'll stop for now



Ah, just writing down all of my tasks (and there as some things missing from that list yall) makes me feel so good...so productive. I think it's just the thought that fall is on it's way...the season of giving is just around the corner...children's birthdays are coming up - just a lot to look forward to. I got some of the things out of our shed that I had packed up (for the move that didn't happen) and it was kind of like opening up a Christmas package or something. I just kept thinking to myself "wow, I forgot we had this book" or "oh yah, that picture use to hang in the living room." Hanging my pictures up again and taking pride in my little home just felt so good...it's nice to be content.

And speaking of packages....take a peek at my new earrings my good friend Danyelle sent to me. I'm loving them...and can't believe that a friend that lives all the way in Canada...and hasn't seen me for about 13 years or so - has such a good sense of "Alyssa taste." It was such a nice little "pick me up" to open my mail box and find some fall clothes for the kids and chocolate for me(I HAVE been sharing) ....such a blessing (thanks dear Tulip...you are a gem).

During craft time today (wow...this post is really ALL OVER THE PLACE isn't it?) I came up with the idea...literally in 2 minutes. It was like this "here kids, everyone grab a piece of wood. Hmmmm...we can stick these little jewel flowers I have on them (thanks Grandma Grace) and then...oh, we can draw stems. Oh wow...you know what? Lets tape on some cotton balls for clouds!" Yes..that's the way I "school" my kids. But in the end...we had craft time, reading and writing and a math page with Brady, Bible songs and ABC's with Tristan, Trin learned to write the letter C and D and then she did an alphabet game on the computer. All in all...everyone learned something (except Brady...he already knew all of it.)

I know, I know...my creativity is inspiring. The "stems" are made from a black permanent marker and a green crayon. If I had actually thought it all out beforehand, I could have painted the board blue for contrast and to create a "sky." I'm sure that would have added so much more "drama" here (sarcasm is GREATLY implied if you're wondering.)

The kids thought they were amazingly beautiful though....I'm just wondering how long I'll need to keep them around before "donating" them somewhere. I'm not really serious (yes I am.)

Curly locks, Curly locks

Wilt thou be mine?

Thou shalt not was dishes

Nor yet feed the swine,

But sit on a cushion

And sew a fine seam,

And feed upon strawberries,

Sugar and cream.

Well, she probably won't be feeding swine anytime soon, but she'll definitely be washing a few dishes in her day.

And now, my head is swimming with ideas for our rainy day tomorrow. I have cinnamon rolls in the fridge ready to bake in the morning (recipe from Moneysavingmom.com) and the coffee set up on the stove. The babies are all asleep and I'm HOPING that I will get some rest myself. i calculated that I haven't slept through the night for at least 7 months now....since Finn has been born I've been up every 2-3 hours STILL. It's okay though...some days are rough without the sleep...but honestly, sometimes i just love the extra snuggle time with my littlest.

God is good...even in times of "wandering" and "forgetting"...times of feeling insecure and times of questioning - God's love remains the same. His gifts remain the same....love, forgiveness, and beauty - these things are always constant and available for anyone that wants them...and sometimes if you don't.

I hope everyone is enjoying their Labor Day weekend,

hugs,

Alyssa

Changes

Life has changed so much since Finn has become part of our *world.* Tristan is no longer the baby...in a blink he changed from our littlest to our chunky little Koala Bear...almost two. He is still just as cuddly as ever...but he looks like such a big boy.
Trinity loves being older than TWO other kids in the family...she giggles every time Tristan says a new word or Finn coos or ahhs. She's quick to tell me when the baby is crying and is quite the big helper around the house. She has had some hard times too...just adjusting to a change in routine and adjusting to the new family dynamics. I'm confident though that she will remain her sweet little lovable self....she just has to be reminded now and then who SHE is.
Brady loves having his Gran Jan around and had so much fun taking rides in my parents big Ford truck. It's fun for the kids to be able to look forward to visits from other people....normally they just see me and Zac ALL of the time with hardly any kind of outlet. Speaking of outlets....Brady is currently working with zac on making a little movie titled "Cheetah Man" - should be a hoot. Brayden has been this so called "cheetah man" now for about 3 weeks....racing through our home at 2,000 miles per hour...he has the power to fly as well as zapping anything that needs zapping. Today he drew pictures of what the previews on his movie would be...as well as the FBI warning. He's pretty obsessed with the idea that if you copy a movie you'll go to jail...it kind of thrills him to have that knowledge. :)


Zac is doing well...pretty anxious to hear from the Denver Fire Department in June. He's had a lot to handle over the last few weeks...I won't go into detail but there has been a LOT. I'm thankful that he's so steady and that he loves all of us so much. He's especially been enjoying hugging me....he keeps telling me how nice it is that he can wrap his arms all the way around me.
And as for me...I'm just thankful that I can MOVE again. It's so nice being able to breathe and walk and hold kids on my lap. Showers are no longer exhausting for me to take...and I'm enjoying most of my old clothes again. It's nice having more that 3 outfits to wear....
I am pretty tired in the early evenings but have had quite a bit of energy during the day...I'm even starting to feel creative already. Since Finn has come I've noticed that I'm so much calmer and even (if this can POSSIBLY be true about me) have felt kind of "laid back." Fun times.
So...there you all have it...another update on the youngest Corley family. No deep thoughts or life changing words from yours truly.... perhaps when I get more than 4-5 hours of sleep on a daily basis. :)

Diagnosis

I've written most of our family an update on Brady's appointment but will also share here too...sorry if it is a bit redundant for some of you. :) Zac and I met this morning with the dr. and went over Brady's test results...lots of graphs and charts that compare his *skills* with other kids his age. His verbal skills (as far a what he understands conversationally and his vocabulary) were pretty much through the roof. Then when it came to math skills or anything that required any type of attention span was extremely poor. His coordination wasn't good...he couldn't complete tasks like standing on one leg or walking with one foot in front of the other....he couldn't really wipe his nose by himself...stuff like that. Also his social skills and the chart that shows his levels of *frustration* and anxiety were also through the roof...a normal kids would be in the 80 to 100 range and Brady was past 120. So, all that to say that Brady has been officially diagnosed with Asbergers Syndrome, he also tested very high for ADHD (kind of goes with Asbergers) and he will also need speech therapy as he studders VERY badly when he gets excited at all. My mind has been whirling all day...I knew this would be the outcome but there's just something about talking to a professional and looking at charts and graphs and all that jazz - it was just so real. Basically Brady has no type of sensor on social skills, he has no self control. He immediately does what comes to mind and Zac and I have had to closely moniter every move he makes for years now...it is exhausting. We were advised to continue some type of therapy for our family as having a child with Aspergers puts a huge strain on your family dynamics. Things have been this way for awhile...simple things like going to a restaurant or over to someone's house for dinner have basically been out of the question for us for years. The mall, church, VBS, play dates...anything....has presented a huge challenge. So...now that we have a diagnosis we are hopeful that we can now find someone to help us with tools - Brady doesn't respond to discipline or correction like an average child would....he doesn't have empathy for others....he is obsessive when his life changes in any way. Right now with the baby coming, well...the Dr. said that we can just expect him to be very obsessive and volatile.He senses that something is happening and it's upsetting to him. Dr. McGee said that he knows of no good programs in this area for children with Asbergers and that no schools in Hamilton County cater to this type of disability. I'm realizing more and more that I'm not going to be able to teach him at home...I will if we stay here...but this is one of the reasons why we long to move to an area where there will be more resources for our Brady Bunches. We have an overflowing amount of love for him and want to be the best parents we can be...at the same time there is a part of us that feels defeated and totally exhausted with the daily task of just living with him. I know that sounds harsh...but it is our reality and it's best to face the emotions instead of trying to ignore them or cover them up. I wish I was handling this whole situation with a little more grace and dignity but right now it just hurts. It's hard realizing that expectations you have for your life...good expectations...aren't necessarily the ones that God has for you.

dirt lovers...

Tristan loves dirt...loves touching it, throwing it (thankfully not at people) and sometimes eating it. Okay...he ALWAYS loves eating it but we are almost done *encouraging* him that this isn't a suitable food. A little dirt goes a long way...he would eat handfuls and handfuls of it - and don't even get me started on rocks! I've spent so much time digging them out of his mouth I've actually thought about making him a necklace out of them so he could at least chew on them without swallowing.

Lately his love for dirt has brought me great relief. Allow me to explain:

We have the WORST yard for toddlers. I understand that not having a yard with toddlers is actually the worst...but if you DID have a toddler and you DID have a yard...ours just isn't the best. "Oh, but your yard is so big and lovely...full of flowers and trees" you might argue. Yes indeed...it sure is big. And when you're 8 months pregnant and having to chase a 25 lb child all over a half acre....it's a bit taxing on the ol' body. See....our yard isn't fenced and right down the drive way is a highway with a speed limit of 55. Trinity actually crossed that highway by HERSELF when she was about 18 months and after that....let's just say that this mama's heart has never quite recovered. Between trying to keep Tristy out of the neighbors yard, away from the trailor in the back of our house....and AWAY from the highway - it's just all very overwhelming.

Brady and Trinity are fine now to play outside by themselves...they know the rules and follow them...but Tristan is still in that learning stage and unfortunately for him...I'm in that "large stage." So, my dilemma has been that it is FINALLY warm and beautiful and perfect outdoor weather...and I've only been able to take him out for about 45 minutes a day. So sad too when the other kids are out there and he is just crying at the door wanting so badly to be with them in the warm spring air...and I'm passed out on the floor with burning feet. Sometime I dream of glass sliding doors that open up to just a nice small fenced in yard...one just big enough for a small herb garden and a patio. Ahhhhh...

Anyways, getting back on topic...this is where my relief comes in - Tristan has started just sitting and playing in dirt for about a hour at a time. He is super content just to sit with a shovel and dig and dig and dig. This allows me to be able to sit in my new comfy fold up chair (zac got me a rather large camping chair that has back support that is made for *heftier* folk...he came home and said "look Alyssa, it says for up to 400 pounds!" thanks dear) Then...when the little dude does decide to run, I still have energy for the previously mentioned "chase" game he loves to play.

And those little bare feet....he's obsessed with the game This Little Piggy. :)

And on to just a little family update...I've been absent from this space for awhile and feel the need to let you all know *what is going on.*

Tomorrow morning we will be going for Brady's first meeting with a child specialist. Zac and I are both suppose to go and have the 'get to know you' appointment and then after that Brady will go one time every week for 6 weeks. I'm a bit nervous because the evaluation day is actually set on the same day as Finn's due date so I may need to try and change that...but it's VERY hard to reschedule with Dr. McGee as he's the best of the best....I mean, we've been waiting for 5 months to get in to see him.

Next, we are still working on the house and have an appointment next Monday with our realtor and will be listing it that day. This brings a little stress in the way that the house needs to be ready to be *scene* at any time...not an easy feat with little kids and daily living. Zac is suppose to be putting in a new bathroom sink tomorrow when he is off work and we still have some more organizing to do. It's really just all craziness but we're are totally outgrowing our house. I mean...we're about to be a family of 6 with 2 bedrooms. Brady really needs his own room and I have this thing about wanting my daughter not to share a room with brothers. I know that right now it would be okay since they are little but...I would just really prefer that she have her own space.

Another major thing going on for us is that Zac is flying to Denver on April 2nd in the evening and won't be coming home until the 10th. I'm really trying to not dwell on the fact that I will be 37 weeks pregnant and alone for a week with three kids...I'm trying REALLY hard to just realize that I'm going to be fine...we will do fun things...I will call upon friends - and hopefully not go into labor. Hopefully. I want zac to be able to enjoy his time in the west and hopefully do really well in the interviews and testing...and so I know that I need to stay positive basically so EVERYONE can be positive. Like they say "when mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."

And lastly....just a little ramble about what is going on inside of me for those of you who are interested. I met with my dear friend yesterday to do our study together and the time was SO enlightening for me. Basically we were talking about how all God wants from us in this life is for us to glorify Him...and the way we do that is through obedience. Well, I've know this but the hard part for me is that I put the whole concept of *obedience* into a box and it looks only one way. I struggle with anxiety on a daily basis and what it comes down to is that I am(and have always) put a huge amount of pressure on myself to be basically perfect. It's like I really feel like I'm not pleasing to God if I'm anything other then perfect...which leaves me always very frustrated because striving for perfection is just...well...it will never be.

What perfect looks like to me is : sweet and gentle, wonderful with budgets...being able to feed my family extremely healthily, having all the right things to say at all the right times...making the best decisions all of the time RIGHT now so that a poor decision doesn't mess up my future. So, what's been happening is that all of this pressure on top of the three things I listed at the top of our family update...plus adding another baby to our lives...has basically sent me into a crazed internal state. I'm not glorifying God at all because I'm trying to be perfect and obedient through actions instead of just being me and loving Him and TRUSTING Him. I'm still trying to wrap my head around HOW to give up the control...how to not care if I accidentally make a poor financial decision...or if I have to get fast food one night for the family instead of preparing a meal...I'm still figuring it out. But, I can tell you that just looking at this idea of how I can glorify God through just being Alyssa and not living up to anyone else's standards is freeing....and I hope to continue to grow in this area. I REALLY need to let go...my heart really needs me to let go.

Simple Service

I was encouraged today by a wonderful friend and her generosity in giving up....time! My usual headache came back this morning and she was at my door at 8 am to watch the kids....it takes her 40 minutes to get to my house. I was overwhelmed by her love for me and was reminded of the verses in the Bible where it tells older women to basically teach younger women how to care for our families, life life and love our husbands. There is no better way to accomplish this than through pure and sweet, simple service. The kind of service that doesn't tell me what I'm doing wrong or say "yah, i went through that too....just the cross you have to bare" or the kind of service that seeks to correct - let's face it....it's hard to come by. She played with my kids and delighted in them....toasted bagels and served up orange juice....washed the dishes and read fairy tales for five hours of her morning. I was able to rest, shower....and just have some much needed company.

I think trin did about 6 puzzles back to back - that girl is obsessed! Brady wasn't doing so well this morning (going on 5 days now of monkey noises, running into walls and just being mean spirited really)....just very out of sorts but Lori handled him with grace which I was very appreciative off - Tristan loved her too. Anyways, all this to say that my prayer is that when my kids are grown, I hope that I will remember the young mothers and seek to encourage them and to serve them...to take meals and to watch babies...to give out *free date nights* to young couples - instead of having the attitude "I already did that once....it's your turn."

Christmas Tree Struggle = A Change of Heart

This season's Christmas tree search wasn't as romantically festive as year's past. Generally we would bundle up in coats and scarves, drive to the local Christmas tree farm....get out with smiles on our faces and thoughts of hot cocoa by the fire later...twinkling lights and shiny new ornaments. For 3 years in a row we have scouted out the *perfect* little tree...and then our particular farm allows you to chop it down..they then shake it and tie it to the top of your car....and you go home with thoughts on all things magical.
This year we drove up to the Kroger parking lot...Zac let me hop out to go in and grab some yogurt and canned goods in peace...then he and the kids went to choose one of the trees in the front of the store. I got back and zac was already tying it to the top of the van. I just said "well, at least the tree of choice will be a total surprise to me this year." It really was hectic...Brady was having a mini meltdown and Tristan was ready for lunch - so we just basically took care of business.

TWO DAYS LATER....we began decorating it...in the middle of the day...NO CANDLES LIT...NO CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING....just *began.* It really did feel like one of those times that we needed to just get through....to give the kids their memory but with no expectations or preconceived notions about how the whole ordeal should go down. End Result : A beautiful tree, happy kids, and just as many cute pictures as years past. Kroger or the Christmas tree farm...they really didn't care as long as there was a box of candy canes to spread out over the tree's bare branches.
Internal Result : a sense of accomplisment and new thoughts about how to handle next year's festivities in a more orderly festive fashion. A tinge of sadness as not having my normal tradition...

It's always fun unpacking ornaments and remembering when each was made or bought....from who they were from or for...love that part so much. Every year we try to get each kid an ornament of their very own and I write their name and date on it somewhere...this way when they move away from home and are ready to have a tree of their very own....they'll have a small box of "beginnings" from their past.

Every time I see a picture of Brady lately my heart starts to throb and hurt just a little bit...also swell with pride and joy and love. I can't believe how very tall and old he is looking - he'll be five this month folks....I WILL BE THE MOTHER OF A FIVE YEAR OLD. So strange.

Trin was promised the privilege of putting the star on the top of the tree this year....one of the things we used to console her for her 2 day *decorating wait.* She was elated. :)

Brady saw how much fun Trin had flying through the air in daddy's arms so he quickly asked me if he could have the honor next year. :) Funny what simple things make kids happy.

Daddy and the star topper...in all her goofy squirrelishness.

The tree could definitely use more lights but we bought the LED ones this year and thought one box would do it...you live and learn. I must admit that the *hanging of the green* this year came with a lot of pressure instead of it's normal simple sweetness...mostly pressure that I put on myself. I think I just viewed the whole thing as a chore for some reason...instead of a joy.

However....every night that I sit in our living room and look around at the hung stockings(Zac already has mine bulging...he's so thoughtful) and the collection of ornaments on the tree and all of the candy canes the kids are DYING to sample...I'm filled with happiness and contentment. I wish I could have been at the place in my heart on the day we picked out our tree...kind of like most things these days. I guess the most important thing learned though is that 'i got there.' I think that's what I'm learning MOST right now day to day...just finally getting to that place in my heart - the end result is what is important...sometimes it just takes time. :)

Just a Bit of Christmas...

Stockings are hung....minus one. I realized this morning that last year I never purchased/made Koala Bear a stocking for his goodies...mostly because our little bitty babes aren't as included in Christmas festivities as the older littles. This year that just won't do....so, hi ho, hi ho...it's off to the fabric store I go. I did hang up these three, and then I'll have zac and mine on another wall. I don't want to hang them over the fireplace just because I tend to start *stuffing* the stockings much sooner then the 24th of December and I'm afraid chocolate goodness will melt. :)
If you look on the mantel you'll see my new Christmas treasure for the year. I'm not sure if it's a tree topper or just a "tree" but it was handmade in India and I loved the blue color with the red.

And speaking of Koala...he is getting cuter and cuter with each passing day. He is becoming so very verbal, constantly copying his big sister and trying to make believe right along with her. The days are becoming increasingly chilly and in the mornings and evenings - down right COLD! It's beginning to feel like Christmas....

A few days ago we went for a family outing to Costco because we saw they had LED lights for a good price. I'm so tired of hanging the same icicle lights...five years now....that we decided to go with a bit more color. While Zac was busy hanging up the lights in the chilly weather, Squirrel and Koala kept themselves occupied with running about the yard and getting into all sorts of mischief. :)

Here's Trin *leading* back a lost sheep who had wandered into the neighbors yard. Such a good big sister....such a passive little brother.

The men folk busy at making our porch *festive.*

It got a bit too cold for the littles so they came inside and cuddled up with books while daddy continued on in his perfectionist hanging of the lights. When Zac does a job...he does it right. :)

Tristan chewed a little...those back teeth coming in sure have been bothering the little fella. Aren't they just so cozy?

And after the hard work and a supper of spaghetti...we celebrated with some delicious chocolate cookies that I found at Kroger...ready made organic cookie dough for 2 bucks....SCORE!

Today has been raining and raining (I think 3 inches the news said) so we have been rather sequestered. I tried playing some Christmas music but the atmosphere seemed a little more dreary than *magical.* Tomorrow I hope to get out and think of some fun Christmas crafts for the kids...and I STILL haven't been able to get any ground ginger! Tomorrow, tomorrow.

For those of you interested...I DID get up early this morning and have quiet time alone in the living room...just me, my Bible and journal, a good strong cup of coffee and a flickering fire. *note to self* - ALWAYS have the coffee set up and set the timer for 5 minutes before the alarm goes off. Such a nice way to wake up...to the smell of freshly brewed coffee. The time was so good for my spirit and such a nice way to start the day. I hope to repeat the experience tomorrow...I know my soul needs it and I was able to really think on *things above.* thanks for those of you who sent me encouraging words after my post last night...you are all so truly dear.

A *Granola Day*

I was *on top of it* today. On what? you may ask. Well - IT....this mountain of life that I have had such a hard time controlling lately. Today, I was in charge of my destiny...my Monday destiny....my "what type of day are you going to have"destiny that has been pushing and clawing against me for weeks. I woke up to a sick baby and needy kids...my body was WRITHING with exhaustion (thank God for Zac putting on the coffee before he left for work.) I was convinced that the day was going to be horrible ...I would try my best to NOT like it. I even texted Zac these words "hard day. Tristan is miserable and Brady just threw a huge tantrum."
Then, something got a hold of my heart...two hands gripped it and then slapped it around a bit...a voice spoke in my ear and I got it....I wasn't in control of the uncomfortable circumstances but I was in charge of my attitude. I don't know how many years I'll have to live before i start to truly understand that I can decide to be happy or miserable...I can choose joy and endurance over shrugging my shoulders at the world and pulling the covers up over my head.
With that decided...i made this a *Granola Day*. A good, wholesome day for the kids and me with lots of baking...lots of quality time - I *climbed* the mountain and reached the top of the laundry pile, the top of the baking...and filled my heart with contentment. So fulfilling.

I was lucky (blessed) a couple days ago to find Annies Mac and Cheese on sale from $1.20 a box to 49 cents a box. Needless to say...I purchased 8 boxes. I've been trying to get back into our healthy eating this week but sometimes a simple meal like mac and cheese is just becoming a must - I feel better when it's not packed with chemicals.
The kids were excited about helping so I pulled each of them out a chair...handed them a box...and we literally WATCHED water boil. Okay...I forget the saying about watching water boil and how it takes forever when you're wanting it to happen...this is very true. Fascinating though how something like heat can take room temperature water that is completely still and boring...start to pep it up a bit with a little steam, a few minuscule bubbles...next the steam begins to build and billow, the water to bubble and bubble - fascinating.

When we were reading out the instructions about how much milk and butter to add it was funny that I had to teach the kids what "boiling" means. Thus, the reason why the three of us stood there staring at a hot pot.

While the noodles were cooking we took the empty boxes and cut them open to learn about *re purposing.* The kids learned that not only was the packaging good for holding the noodles and learning to read words on the back, but also instead of using a nice piece of paper to color on....we could open up the box and draw on the inside before tossing into the recycling. :)

Trinity with her lovely "book." Why do kids choose to color with just ONE crayon?

Brady illustrating how you can close the box up and it becomes a book...love the intensity in his eyes.

Next we finished off making the mac. The only reason why I'm posting this picture of trin helping is to prove to my kids in 10 years that mom was *laid back* and would let them help over a hot stove. Really people...I'm giving myself a pat on the back here. Anyone that know me understands that "laid back" is probably the LAST word you would ever choosing in describing me...but a girl can try can't she?!

And the finished product was a very fun, yummy lunch of mac and cheese, black olives and orange slices. About the oranges - I totally splurged. I was at Kroger the other day and looked ACROSS the store and could see large orange mesh bags full of delicious fruit. My pregnant brain switched to *on* and I walked over and dropped the 8 pound bag into my buggy...not caring at all about the cost or the quantity...I just wanted them. My body thanks me...and so does Sweet Pea.

Remember how much fun black olives were? I'm reminded by my kids to take enjoyment in food...and play a little before devouring.

Brayden proudly displaying his olives (Aunt Robin...notice the vest? )

And to finish off the day I baked a loaf of bread (actually ground my grain but let the bread machine mix it up.) I really enjoy this recipe...I think I've posted it before. I'll go back and check, and if not I'll share it in a later post.

The one thing I'm not on "top" off would be the dishes....if that darn dish fairy would just show up when she says she is....

I'm ending my day with a delicious bowl of chowder....looking forward to yogurt and granola in the morning. I thank God that He continues to teach me and to give me really good days...days that I can remember WHY it is that I wanted so badly to be a wife and mommy. It's good to have HOURS of fulfillment where I'm content and praising the Lord that I'm so blessed to stay at home. Lately I've been wanting...well, not to be a working mom...but just to be alone. Just to be in my bed and reading...just to be by myself crafting...just to be walking around a store with a cup of coffee. None of those things are wrong...but when they simply can't be - they just can't be. There will be time for reading and shopping and making Christmas ornaments...there will also be hard days where I will WISH that I was home with screaming babies and not going through whatever crisis that life will throw at us in the future (it's inevitable...hard days WILL come.Not trying to be pessimistic...just realistic) The key is to learn to be joyful in all things, especially when it isn't exactly what I would choose. And then, God does this miraculous thing...He turns the circumstance (His desire for me) into my desire.

I'm going to go to bed tonight with the coffee already set up...my stomach full of good soup and bread...and the knowledge that I did my best today and that I am loved and that I love. Is there anything better?

Oh...thought I would share how I made this chowder if anyone would ever like to give it a try.

Alyssa's Creamy Potato Chowder

5 cups of diced chopped potatoes

3 diced carrots

24 oz of chicken broth (or 24 oz of water with chicken bullion)

1 tsp of garlic powder

1/2 teas. of black pepper

1 cup of frozen corn

1 cup of either cream of chicken soup or make a white sauce using 1 cup milk, 2 tsp corn starch, salt and pepper (I used the white sauce just because I don't care for a lot of *canned* things )

1.5 cups of egg noodles

4oz of cream cheese

Put first 7 ingredients into slow cooker and turn on high for 4 hours. When potatoes are getting soft add the egg noodles. Let cook on high for 45 minutes. Add cream cheese and let cook another 15 minutes and stir. Turn off crock pot and let sit to make sure cream cheese is totally melted. You could also make this on low but it would take about 8 hours and you need to be around it for the last hour to add the noodles and cream cheese....so if you wanted it ready right when you came home then that wouldn't work so well since you need at LEAST a hour of babysitting it. :)

Mine came out delicious and creamy...hope yours does too.