Apr 20, 2010

Learning


Psalm 31:2
Turn your ear to listen to me;
rescue me quickly.
Be my rock of protection,
a fortress where I will be safe.
One thing I love about the Lord is that I don't have to explain myself to Him....He already knows my heart. There are some days when I wrestle and wrestle with my thoughts and my own heart, not quite understanding myself....not quite being able to explain myself to anyone...and then I happen upon a verse like this one....and I feel complete and full knowing that SOMEONE understands....that there is a power greater then me or any other person or thing...and He longs for me to pour out my heart to Him...and He listens. I don't have to hop up and down to get his one on one attention....i don't have to scream or shout for Him to turn His ever listening ear my way....I don't have to be perfect to win His affection. Heavenly father is there....he's here....right where I am, in this moment.
Psalm 30: 5
For his anger lasts only a moment,
but his favor lasts a lifetime!
Weeping may last through the night,
but joy comes with the morning.
Praise God that His anger only lasts a moment....praise God that i am favored by him. i don't quite understand it though...I don't understand how someone like me....someone who has SOOO many faults can be favored by one that is ABSOLUTE PERFECTION. That's one beautiful thing about being a Christian is that I don't have to understand...it doesn't have to be logical....i just have to trust. I feel sorry for those who have to have a logical explanation for everything....who have to understand why bad things happen to *good* people....why they can actually be loved by God...why there are consequences in this life AND rewards (I think we forget about all of the things that are actually rewards....little things we take for granted.) I'm glad that I'm not expected to be "good." I fail miserably everyday at this...I am glad that I NEED to grow, and that God wants to patiently walk beside me and teach me, hold me, show me how to examine my heart (have you tried that recently...really examined your heart?) and that He will dilligently show me through His word and through other believers how to change in me what needs to be changed but He also shows me what to love about me. I have a hard time loving me folks....I see a lot of faults all of the time.
I think about my own kids and how they are full of sin...but they are also so very very lovely. I think about the purpose God already has for their lives.....and I'm reminded that I need to be a representative of HIM in their lives. I need to "listen quickly" and I need to let my anger last only a moment. I need to teach them, diligently train them....but then above all else love them for them and who they are and not what I expect them to be.
I'm reminded that in my marriage I'm not the only one that has needs and wants and dreams. I'm not the only one that needs to feel loved and encouraged on a daily basis...and once again my ear needs to be a listening one and my mouth a source of encouragment. Most of all with zac - I have to show him the love he deserves....to be loved for being Zac....just like he loves me for being Alyssa.
There...I told you all in my last post that I've had a lot on my mind.....and I think i just sorted it out! Thanks for listening and caring. Remember today that there is someone so much greater then you that wants to hear your every concern....that wants to walk beside you all day long (as you wash the dishes, as you drive in your car, as you interact with others) and He wants to be active with you....He's not there just for the ride....He's there to drive if you let Him (if I let Him.) Have a blessed day,
Alyssa Spring

3 comments:

The Toplovs said...

Good reminder for me when I feel I'm not good enough to come to God. Really, I'm not, but I come in the name of Jesus Christ, through His blood. He already paid it all.

larissa said...

Learning, believing, and forgiving yourself and allowing yourself to move on and begin with a clean slate each day is so important. As a mama and wife so many depend on you that you must believe in yourself in order to give. Beautifully written - thanks for sharing.

Like Brady, my oldest son has always enjoyed playing by himself and has been shy about approaching others he does not know - Ezra just turned 11 and he is the most centered, content, and wise child i know. Don't worry that brady is not as social as your girly - he will do just fine!

MOM said...

Stay inthe Word! I am thankful for the love and respect you have for God and His Word. It's so healing and never ever fails us. I love you and am also thankful for how you are learning at a young age to be what He wants you to be for Him.

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