Feb 16, 2012

V Day and Lesson of Love

Valentine's Day brought snow flurries, pink flowers and sugar cookies drenched in thick red frosting. Trinity and I were invited to a cookie decorating party so we left the fellas for a bit and enjoyed some girl time. She was very excited for the opportunity to wear her new pink skirt and wrap beads about her neck - the girl knows how to dress. Complete with leggings and cheetah boots...she was killer - in a subtle relaxed way (she learns from the best hahah). I'm immensely enjoying watching my four year old and her fashion sense....
I drank coffee and tried to stay away from Trinity and her goopy mess of a cookie - she thought it was lovely so I guess that's all that's important. I did,however, have a type of *awake nightmare* thinking about Trin's blood stream being invaded by food dye and refined sugar.I took another sip of coffee, steadied my thoughts and smiled at my little squirrel piling on enough sprinkles to last her all winter. "Good job baby " I said....."maybe we could just eat one cookie today?" She smiled and said "yah, cause we don't want to eat tooooo much sugar mom." Ahhh, be still my beating heart.
Trinity longs for little girl friends. She gets extremely lonely on a daily basis, and I totally understand. I still remember when I was little, crying under my covers because I felt so very alone. I had lots of dolls and books and good things, but I always wanted a little girl to play with - someone who "got" me. I think I'm still that way. No, I know I'm still that way. Everyone needs someone.
Beautiful soft faced little girls...there's nothing more lovely then innocent little children. They are so honest, so raw and so feeling. I love that. Sometimes I look at group pictures like this and I'm so COMPLETELY reminded that Trinity is growing up so quickly, and before I know it she'll be in a black and white photo of her and her teenage friends. Time goes by too quickly.
At our house I tried to be festive without spending oodles of cash. I made eggs in a nest and just cut the "hole" out with a heart shaped cookie cutter. This, paired with some strawberries and pink tulips was perfect. Brady had a blast at school and was so excited when he came home with his "glitter box" full of cards and pencils and candy from all his little classmates.
Today it's raining and I'm thankful for the bit of pink that's still left on the table...and for the piece of chocolate thats waiting for me. The last couple of days have been a little hard for me...hormones don't you know. I'm having a few relationship problems (not with Zac for all of you curious cats) and that has been hard on my heart. It's hard finding out that something about you, without wanting to or thinking that you have, has hurt someone very dear to you. It's then equally as hard not to become defensive, but to instead claim that no matter what your intent was or what you were trying to do....you didn't accomplish. What is ALWAYS important, is how the other person feels...how you made them feel. This is love....unconditional love to just say "I'm sorry that I hurt you, it wasn't my intent at all and I love you and I will try to do better and to support you the way you need." And then in the end, because your love for each other is so strong, you move past it because you want the person - but the emotional strain of the situation is still hard. Even after things are "settled" and hashed out, it's hard to recuperate from such an emotionally charged situation. So today, I'm still kind of "in the middle of it" with myself.
But, there are things to look forward to today, and I'm thankful for honesty and for effort. Relationships of all kind take those two things....and forgiveness. So, I'm going to go have my second cup of coffee, make a bowl of soup...and try to let it go now and move on. It's hard for me to *move one* when it's raining - here's hoping for a sunny walk sometime soon.

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