Mar 24, 2012

Roses Today...Rain Tomorrow

Today my dear friend Havala had her bridal shower. I wish I had taken my camera, because sweet *Miss Sandy* had the most gorgeous yard full bloom. I haven't been to this place in forever, and every time I'm there I have this sense that I am "home" even though it's never been my home - I've never even spent the night. I think it's just the knowledge that one point these sweet people really really loved me and made a huge difference in my life.
I got a little teary eyed a couple of times, watching my friend's future marriage be prayed over. She is so very loved by me, and I'm so happy that God has brought her a really wonderful man to be her partner...for her to love and to follow. I'm excited for her future and for what she will be taught about herself and about God through her relationship with a man. I'm reminded of the deep love that I felt for my husband when the same type of shower (with the same people that were there today) was given for me over 8 years ago. A marriage that is prayed over and that starts out with the intent *to honor God* I THINK has to be a success. It just has too.
I was having a conversation with one of my friends about how strange it is that this time in my life is drawing to an end. The baby time...the going to my childhood friend's weddings - it's all slowly becoming something of the past. Before long I will be watching babies for young mothers and throwing the upcoming bridal showers. I'll be sitting at the retirement homes reading to the elderly because my children will be in school...or in their own homes. Granted that's a long time from now and my *youth* is definitely not over by any means..but this chapter in my life is almost gone. I'm *turning a page* if you will, and this excites me and saddens me at the same time. It makes me want to just hold on to my baby any chance I get. I'm noticing that instead of cleaning as much, I'm standing in front of Finn's highchair and trying to make him laugh. My last baby will be one in about 6 weeks...and I'm kind of freaking out. It's starting to hit me that our family is complete, as far as we know, and that I will never be carrying another baby inside of me. I guess I will just have to be content to watch other women's bellies grow...and I can be the freak that constantly rubs their stomachs. Yes, I really do do that.
Other parts of life are changing too. I know that this home that I have lived in for over six years will soon become a memory. I've brought all of my sweet babies home to 1114 Mt. Vernon...I learned to sew here and to plant things. I've painted the walls and scrubbed the floors and washed the windows (not very much) - I've had 6 Christmas trees in the dining room corner. I don't know where we're moving..but it will be soon.
The possibility of leaving the only friends I've made in my "non missionary kid" world are here..they are all I've known in my adult years.
We found out yesterday that Zac has an interview with an EMS company in about 8 days or so. Please be praying for that to go well...more waiting and asking God to show us. Also, we are having to find a home for our dog that we have been taking care of since September. Our future is just too uncertain to have to care for Ozzie...he's a bigger dog and we don't know what kind of a place we will be renting next. I love him dearly and cry every time I think that he will have to leave us, but I know that it is best. The humane society called today and asked for pictures of him so now we are waiting for him to be posted and for him to find a good home. Another thing that is a small change..but a hard one. It's not fun telling your kids that their dog will have to go somewhere else, that they may be possibly moving to a new house...that they may be having to say "good bye" to their friends. These are all just things that *might happen* but it's enough to make a mama's heart hurt.
Today has been lovely despite the small storms in my own life. I'm glad that I know of God's love for me. It's also such a gift to be able to have special things to celebrate....a baby making it to his first birthday with perfect health, a friend marrying in warm May, a visit from my parents soon - fun things to look forward to. I like that life is's not always roses and sunshine, but it's not always rain and gloomy.

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