Mar 30, 2009


Today is full of sunshine...yet I don't get to enjoy it. Zac is at work and Brady is in his bed for the rest of the day...yep, the rest of the day. Isn't that the saddest thing in the world? For some strange reason he thinks it's okay to scream at us if he doesn't like whatever rule we've put in place. The other day he did it in a restaurant...I mean screamed so loud that the whole place stopped eating and all looked at our table. There were several murmurs....Zac was off at the buffet line but quickly came to my side and took Brady out to the car. When we got back to our hotel room he was discipline and then we made him sit in his bed until bedtime. See....we've tried EVERYTHING!!!! I've tried time outs, "the rod" consistently, taking away toys...talking to him....encouraging him in what the RIGHT response is....yet he still chooses to scream at me at the most unpredictable times. Yesterday Zac had to go to a funeral so I was at home playing and giggling with the kids...Brady was helping me make rice and then we were playing our racing game. He intentionally pushed Trinity so I said very calmly "Brady, we don't push. You need to go sit in time out." That was followed with a "no" so I repeated myself where he then screamed at me at the top of his lungs. I proceeded in grabbing him by the collar and taking him in his room and telling him (not yelling mind you...just telling) that he would need to stay in his room for the rest of the day and that he had to be quiet and stay in his bed. He HATES it. He screams more, cries, tries to talk me out of me other options. It really is kind of funny. Anyways, when Zac got home he talked with Brayden and reiterated the point that he could NEVER scream at us and everytime he did he would have to go to bed because no one wants to be around someone that screams(all of this in 3 year old language.) Well, no on my sunshiny day without Zac - I've been enjoying it so much and have cleaned and cleaned and then printed out some coupons to take to Wal Mart. Loaded the kids up, both of them super excited to be going to the store. I let Brady know he would get to be my big helper and put things in the buggy, and then I reminded him when I parked the car that he was to obey in the store and that there would be no screaming. So, we enter the automatic doors, thoughts of yellow smiley face stickers stuck on hands and happy companionship floating amongst the three of us. First get some bird feed for our newly green yard. We look at the fish, get our bird feed and then see that our neighbors are there too. We begin talking when I hear that there is a little argument going on between the kids. Trini wants to hold the little package of bird seed and Brady thinks it HAS to go in the back of the buggy. "Brady" I say "it's okay if Trin holds it right now." "No" he says and slumps to the floor. My neighbor continues talking to me even though it's obvious that I'm trying to keep things calm with my kids. "Brady, you need to get up." LOUD ANNOYING SCREAM! A woman stops in her tracks, looks at us and says "Oh god." Anyways, I just picked him up and put him in the buggy and explained to my neighbor that I needed to leave because our rule was that Brady couldn't be in stores when he was disobeying....and I left. Untouched coupons, wanting to punch those yellow smiley faces right in the nose. I wasn't mad this time....first time at the restaurant I fought hard not to be embarrassed because then I would be punishing out of the wrong motives. Yesterday I had no emotion...just went through the steps of discipline. This time, I just felt sad for him, knowing that we would have to go home and all that sunshine would just go to waste as he sat in his room. This time when I put him down I couldn't control the tears. I don't know if that's good or bad....but I let him see that it hurt me. I told him that he couldn't scream at me, and that because he did mommy didn't get to get groceries and Brady and Trin didn't get to help shop at the store. So, now I have 5 hours of daylight left - I guess I can get a lot done now. Parenting is difficult....I never know when I'm making the right choices discipline wise. One thing I have been assuring myself of though here lately....if I'm doing it with the right heart, with the right motives....and taking God alongside with me, asking Him...begging Him to show me the right way, then I can relax knowing that I'm not damaging my child's heart. Hopefully I'm showing them the correct behavior and how they need to handle frustration. As to all those people who think it's okay to openly judge people with "unruly" children....I implore you to remove the beam out of your eye. I'm learning more and more that I can't allow others criticism to go straight to my heart, they don't see what happens behind the red door of 1114 Mt. Vernon. Now that I have that all out, I'm going to do wash and listen to some music....and then take Trin outside so we can at least smell the fresh air and hear the hammering of the workers that are putting up a fence! Yep...the neighbor is putting up a fence blocking the view of their house from to come later (you'll see why I'm so elated.)


Cindy said...

Alyssa, I know its hard but just ignore the people who react.
They just don't have a clue!
and huge Congrats on walking out
of the store with Brady. I think that was one of the hardest things for me...just to give up all the work I had put into the shopping and just leave. I remember, very well how hard it can be...but take
heart!! It gets better!! and besides that :) eventually they will get old enough and you can leave them at home when you go shopping!! I can leave my 3 for an hour or so and run errands all by myself and I LOVE it. Anyway, praying for you and Brady...he will
get it...I'm absolutely certain!

Cindy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Toplovs said...

You're doing a great job, Alyssa and Zac. Keep being consistent. Remember disciplining (training) is not about having the perfect kids who never embarrass us; it's obeying God's word to be faithful to train them up in the right way. As much as being consistent is challenging it sends your little beauties the message that mom and dad are in charge, not them. Plus, they always know that you love them.

We're going through some issues with Jaida too and simply praying God would give us wisdom.

Kaira said...


You are doing a magnificent job at mothering those babes of yours. You are so right too - God knows your heart and his perfect grace will cover all the mistakes. Your children are lucky to have you.

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