Jan 17, 2010


So this day's *projects* that I was counting on doing involved these minor ones:
1. Washing dishes

2. Vacuuming

3. Cleaning out Trin's room

4. Making bread

I know what you're thinking..."wow", "how inspirational" , "creative", "gee...wish I could do that." My creative zest took off this morning in huge strides and then fell flat on it's face. Maybe tomorrow I'll be able to actually complete a project that lasts for awhile. When I say "awhile" I mean something that actually stays in place or is pretty to look at for a long time.

To bake is to be satisfied...yet the *goods*are gobbled down in 10 minutes around here and nothing is left except a few crumbs and slightly full looking bellies. Vaccuuming is good while the crisp vertical lines remain on the carpet....but then the aforesaid "crumbs" find their way into the fibers and little running feet...stomping, chasing feet...turn the vertical lines into crazy circles. Making the bed is nice while the sheets are tight and the bedspread smooth...and then a good game of "jump" occurs and the bed no longer is fit to look at -still soft though(I guess that's what really counts).

I'm slowly learning to become content in the disarray around here and the never ending pile of dishes...the mounds of laundry that just never get washed AND folded in the same day (gulp....sometimes not folded at all...just used straight out of the basket.) I think I truly am realizing through much reading and LOTS of encouragement from older, wiser mothers...that my kids are little for such a very short time. Cherish. I love that word...is there anything better than being *cherished*? The images that pop into my head when I hear that word are all just...well...lovely. A red plaid picnic blanket spread out over soft grass...a lady sitting with her love's head in her lap and they're smiling..cherishing. A woman with long hair rocking a sleeping baby and humming the tune to "Hush Little Baby" over and over again, cherishing her baby...loving him like no one else ever could or will. A little girl hugging (or choking if your Trin) a fluffy kitty...maybe a family all sitting around the table to a home cooked meal, laughing and enjoying the company of only those who love them unconditionally...only those that cherish them for who they are and what they will become. Cherish.

Christ hanging on a tree...looking out at eyes that hate...yet His own eyes soft and loving. To think that in that huge crowd of people He saw me...He saw my angry eyes...my loathing judgemental angry face...yet he wanted me and cherished me. Gosh I wish that I could give that same grace to my kids when they look at me with a rebellious countenance. If I could just envision myself in that crowd of scorners...my fist shaking and my feet stomping at the one who loves me most, maybe I could do a better job at extending a little more mercy to the ones I love most. To be like Him...how I wish I could. I can...because of Him.

So...tomorrow there may be more dishes and laundry...there WILL be more. Nothing creative may get done except a coloring or two...maybe some muffins...but I won't feel like I'm less. I'm more because He made me more.

And besides...getting a smile like this over a simple dinner is the best reward ever. Gosh I love my family. How is it that God in all His creativity and knowing and power and EVERYTHING knew me...my little self...and knew exactly what to give me. He knows exactly what I need and when I need it. He knew that I needed Zac in my life to help me grow and to learn to love. He knew that I needed to be crammed into a 900 square foot home with three kids to learn patience and thankfulness. He knew that I needed Brady to scream at me everyday for a year to hear the way I screamed internally at Heavenly Father for so long...sometimes even now. He knew that I needed a little girl that would sing and dance and cuddle because I needed to see how to be lighthearted...and to have beauty actually taking up residence in my home. Trin is beauty. He knew that I would need a little baby to love and cuddle after a long day's work...such a sweet reward. He knows that I DON'T have to have a clean home at every possible waking moment. I don't have to look put together on the outside all of the time...as long as my "insides" are in the right place...and,no, I don't mean my internal organs people! Have a blessed day everyone.
~Alyssa Spring


The Toplovs said...

Alyssa. I seriously love how you express yourself so openly and honestly. Thanks.

CorleyAunt said...

Amen, say it again! Love you!

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