- Anne of Green Gables
"Our God is an awesome God,
He reigns,
With Wisdom, Power, and Love,
Our God is an awesome God."
I don't know why God gave and then took away....but I DO know that there was a lot of wisdom involved....His omnipotent power taking place in my life, and His everlasting love wrapped tight around me and Zac.
I love you so much my dear sisters....thank you for stocking our fridge and taking care of me...allowing me to truly rest and enjoy one on one time with Zac while I knew that my kids were being well cared for. Such a gift....you'll never know.
And water play....so fun for everyone on a 99 degree day. We borrowed this sprinkler from my friend Joy and have enjoyed it so much Zac bought one today for us to keep. Brady was so excited that he "owned a sprinkler forever." Look at Tristan in this picture trying to figure out how to crawl in and out of the kiddie pool - he kept getting stuck midway and would just hange there upside down with feet in the air.
The flowers outside have all bloomed...I had planted a pack of wildflowers in early spring so the kids could have something to pick during the summer. Everyday I get a fresh bouquet of just the heads of the flowers....hardly ever stems. :)
And yesterday and today I have been busy with party preparations for Tristan's first birthday. Yesterday I appliqued a banner and his birthday crown...today I'm busy putting together little party favors for his friends.
And look at these strawberries! I'm going to make vanilla cupcakes with buttercream strawberry frosting....I'm so excited to see how these taste. The kids and I found the recipe in their Sesame Street cook book....they are thrilled that we're actually making them tomorrow....errrr....today sometime.
So, conclusion :
I am still grieving from time to time and I guess I will for quite awhile...at odd moments and over strange things...like pictures of baby feet, the smell of lavender, and people saying " I'm so sorry." BUT, the sun is going to continue to come up in the morning, the kids are still going to make me laugh....there is so much hope in the life of a believer. This doesn't feel like the end of anything...it just feels like the beginning of the next chapter in my life....hopefully a chapter full of grace and service...full of compassion for people hurting and those in need....I think God will use little January forever.
And my dear friend Danyelle sent me these scriptures today and they brought a tears to my eyes...hard to read but so full of truth and promise, God letting ME know that my baby WAS real no matter how small or maybe even "insignifcant" to the medical world.
Hugs to all of you....wish you could come by for a visit and a glass of lemonade...or a birthday cupcake.
Pslam 139
13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to [b] me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you.
5 comments:
those verses brought tears to my eyes as well - but for different reasons. isn't it amazing how god can speak through the same truths to each one of us but in unique and personal ways?
and speaking of amazing, zac's haircut looks amazing!!! i've always loved him with the close-cut look, but that added faux hawk spiky-ness is TRULY amazing!!
i sure do you miss you and the family!
I have a lot of emotions, but just can't find the right words. So, I'll just say this: I'm thinking of you and praying for you...
Ditto what Kate said! I know you will always miss little January, but I have no doubt that eventually there will be another Little on the way. I wonder what month he/she will be? I really like how you call him/her January. That's a perfect way to refer to the Little that is already with the Father.
Love, hugs and kisses to you from both of us!
The strength of your faith comes out in your words and is very inspiring. I'm glad you have such a wonderful group of people around to help you through the loss of your baby. I'm praying for you.
Thanks so much for your sweet comment. I love making new friends. :)
LOVE YOU!
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