Apr 13, 2011

Jonah Day

In the words of Anne of Green Gables "Oh Marilla, its been such a Jonah day." To be sure...I think all of the past week's stress and uncomfortableness and turmoil finally mounded over on me and I freaked out. Freaked out as in....if you were standing outside my bedroom window it would have sounded like a tribal squaw wailing for her lost brave. Yes...the pain inside and outside and EVERYWHERE came to a head and I lost it. For all of you concerned readers...no one was physically or verbally harmed. My children didn't even realize that mama was having a near break down...all they know is that daddy came home a day early. Yes indeed....thank the Lord for a compassionate husband. I swallowed my pride and gave him a phone call...basically just saying that "Alyssa has had enough." I hate making that phone call...I feel very weak having to ask for help sometimes. There is this part of me that says "you chose to make *stay at home mom* your job....so do it!" Sometimes I wish so badly there was someone else that could come over...to lend a hand or encourage me so that I wouldn't have to call my hubby away from his job. But...at the same time, I'm realizing that we ARE his first priority....and he does have sick time stored up. So.... I've now spent almost the entire day in my bed on my side...trying to get my stomach muscles to relax a bit. This baby just feels SO large I can't even describe it. I seriously felt like I was suffocating for two straight hours...my ribs feel bruised and there is constant pain in my thighs, groin, and lower pelvic regions. Yes indeed Mr Finn is welcome ANY DAY NOW. His diaper bag is packed.... In short....I believe that what it all boiled down to is that I finally was truly feeling....just feeling all of it. I've been a bit anxious about our meeting with Dr. McGee tomorrow, my body is in constant pain, I'm tired from my long week alone last week...and I'm starting to get pretty nervous about pushing out this rather large baby. The ultrasound technician told me on Monday that the baby is measuring like he's over 39 weeks instead of 37 - so either Finn is coming a bit early or he's just going to be a rather large man child. I'm keeping my fingers crossed he comes early. It's been so nice having Zac home...he loved visiting family in Colorado but neither he nor I do very well apart. He brought Brady back a Colorado Rockies baseball cap...a stuffed Koala for our little Koala, and a little bear wearing a Denver Fire Department Hoodie for Trin. The kids were super excited....Tristan thinks that his new stuffed friend is a great teething agent...
So today not only is Zac handling all the meals, taking care of me, and he's going back to work once the kids are in bed....he also played bubbles with them and went to the local farm for a gallon of milk. Seriously...what would I do without him? There's a shortage of really good men in the world...I'm glad I snagged one early on in life.

2 comments:

hannah singer said...

bless your heart! praise the lord for your husband helping out. praying for you, come on baby finn!
xo

aubrey said...

dear friend, so glad you snagged one of the last great men on the earth. im sure he feels the same about you.
i hope for your sake little finn comes early. the pain you are describing makes me hurt for you and kind of never want to be pregnant but i know that the joy of holding a brand new baby that is YOURS would overcome that feeling.

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