Feb 26, 2013
February In Review
~ more drama
~ a touch more drama and then...
~ Zac and I spent a day at the doctor's office and then at Children's Hospital with Finn. To keep a long story short and a private issue sacred (don't want Finn to read this years later and be offended) we found out that he will need a little outpatient surgery. Explaining it that way doesn't sound too scary but I assure you the process of getting that diagnosis was pretty traumatic. Having a pediatrician say "yah, this is definitely not normal" then having to sit through 2 ultrasounds, 15 minutes a piece and then being sent to the ER with NO food for hours is just plain gruesome.
~ We rid our home of gluten and casein...good bye old friends. It's getting easier now but the first few days I literally thought I was going to have to sneak to the store and buy some french bread...and then sit in my van alone and eat the whole loaf - or hurt someone...or cry. The idea of changing EVERYTHING in your kids diets ( and I have quite a few kids) was really overwhelming. I think what my biggest fear was was eating around other people and not being able to communicate with Tristan WHY he couldn't have what everyone else was having. Typical kids would have issues with this but my little Koala has a very hard time communicating so this has been a huge source of worry for me. But...so far so good. We just eat a lot of the same foods over and over again, which most of the world DOES DO.
~ Tristan started having night terrors again - very sad for all involved.
~ Brady has spoken to me about wanting to be home schooled at least four times a week - no exaggeration. Now I'm kind of in the process of wondering what the right thing to do here is...and not the socially correct right thing that everyone who DOESN'T have a child with autism thinks...but what would be right for him specifically and could we actually pull it off as a family. None of these changes will be coming this school year though, so we have time.
~ Tristan and I also went to Child Find here in Colorado...they are the ones who issue the IEP's for kids in the state of Colorado so that they can receive Special Education in public schools. We got that done but it was overwhelming - once again I'm being pushed to put him in a developmental preschool and I'm trying to figure out if I can really handle all of that right now BECAUSE....
~ We got NO snow day. You know you're in Colorado when you can barely find the trees in your yard but you still have to drive your kid to school.
~ Brady learned to shovel snow and enjoyed doing it.
~ I found a little shop near our home that sells natural stuff for babies and she is going to help me raise some more money for my Super Corley Bro's Team !
~ I hit menopause... (not really but I feel like it.)
~ She is reading much better
~ She is confusing me on a daily basis - seriously. Girl's are a freaking handful and a half and I think I'm glad I got ONE. Not that my boys are a piece of cake but at least I don't have the "oh my, I'm sure I hurt their heart by doing absolutely NOTHING!!!!"
I think what I'm worried the MOST about...is that I'm not going to be enough. I told Zac that sometimes when I'm home all day the one message that I read loud and clear all day is that I'm not enough...that I don't have enough time, enough of me...to make every person in our family perfectly happy...including myself. So...I think these four months are going to be good because I'm going to have to realize that I'm a human being ( I'm sorry I ruined it for all of you that really thought I was superwoman clad in a 60's yellow apron with rainbow hair) and that I will never be enough for anyone - that's why we have Jesus. Without the hope of Him, or being able to talk to Him or cry to Him or ask Him for help or thank HIM....I don't quite know how I would manage. Well...that's not true...I've seen it and it wasn't pretty.
I will do my best and I will mostly love doing my best (some mornings I will rather be to myself which will only be a dream) and then the four months will go by and I will look back at this post and either cry because I was so naive or I will think "wow, look at what we learned...look at what we did!" Anyways, I know February isn't over but I'm not sure I can squeeze anything else into it without exploding. So...it's done for me. These next few days are "no days." I'm going to get rid of stuff and do some deep cleaning and play with some kids. If they can't give me a snow day I'll give myself some "free undocumented days."