February In Review

  February...a whirlwind of events. Because I don't want to "wax poetic" ... (well, I do but I don't have the words)...I'll just give yall the *low down.* Here's our February in review :
~ drama
~ more drama
~ a touch more drama and then...
~ Zac and I spent a day at the doctor's office and then at Children's Hospital with Finn. To keep a long story short and a private issue sacred (don't want Finn to read this years later and be offended) we found out that he will need a little outpatient surgery. Explaining it that way doesn't sound too scary but I assure you the process of getting that diagnosis was pretty traumatic. Having a pediatrician say "yah, this is definitely not normal" then having to sit through 2 ultrasounds, 15 minutes a piece and then being sent to the ER with NO food for hours is just plain gruesome.

  ~ We welcomed a fish to the family...and he is boring. Someday I will have a Weimaraner and all will be well.
~ We rid our home of gluten and casein...good bye old friends. It's getting easier now but the first few days I literally thought I was going to have to sneak to the store and buy some french bread...and then sit in my van alone and eat the whole loaf - or hurt someone...or cry. The idea of changing EVERYTHING in your kids diets ( and I have quite a few kids) was really overwhelming. I think what my biggest fear was was eating around other people and not being able to communicate with Tristan WHY he couldn't have what everyone else was having. Typical kids would have issues with this but my little Koala has a very hard time communicating so this has been a huge source of worry for me. But...so far so good. We just eat a lot of the same foods over and over again, which most of the world DOES DO.

  ~ Trinity lost her first tooth and was super cute about doing it. I then lost it before being able to put it under her pillow. I felt horrible..what kind of a mother loses their child's FIRST lost tooth?! I wrote the fairy a note and she still delivered the goods - but gee whiz I felt horrible.
~ Tristan started having night terrors again - very sad for all involved.

  ~ Lover boy came through this Valentine's Day. He brought roses and cards for us girls, plus a bottle of bubbly and some chocolate covered strawberries for yours truly. PLUS....

 ~ he sent me to become a blonde. Not just any blonde....one with subtle rainbow colored highlights. They are just on the bottom layer so I can choose to show them or not. As my stylist said (so funny that I have a stylist) "you're gonna be the coolest mom on the block." And...by jove...I think I AM! It was time for a change...I've been wearing my hair pretty much the same since high-school.

 ~ Brady got to go on a field trip at school, exchange valentines, won a dollar because he was the only kid in the lunch room who knew who the 16th president was, and he's been successfully gluten/casein free for 3 full weeks. It was hard taking away almost ALL of his candy he was given at Valentine's Day....and telling him he couldn't eat the "as big as your head" cupcakes that a few kids treated his class to. He did okay though...we gave him some gluten free animal crackers and all he said was "I feel very left out." I made it up to him later.
~ Brady has spoken to me about wanting to be home schooled at least four times a week - no exaggeration. Now I'm kind of in the process of wondering what the right thing to do here is...and not the socially correct right thing that everyone who DOESN'T have a child with autism thinks...but what would be right for him specifically and could we actually pull it off as a family. None of these changes will be coming this school year though, so we have time.

  ~ Tristan completed his LONG assessment at Children's Hospital. He was one hardworking brave little soul...and so super sweet. The team at Children's was amazing - they were so kind to him and made him feel completely comfortable. He was given a diagnosis of having autism spectrum disorder....and although I am sad from this news I don't think I'm quite devastated. I handled the "devastated" part around Christmas when I really started knowing in my heart that this was true. Now, I'm just experiencing a lot of ups and downs that come with the territory of having a kid (s) with special needs. His biggest need his speech therapy - he has a very hard time communicating without using gestures and sound effects and he doesn't know how to use conversational speech. Most everything he says is scripted - thus the reason why I was scared of taking him off his favorite foods. :) Tristan also has sensory issues and they think he could really use Occupation Therapy.
~ Tristan and I also went to Child Find here in Colorado...they are the ones who issue the IEP's for kids in the state of Colorado so that they can receive Special Education in public schools. We got that done but it was overwhelming - once again I'm being pushed to put him in a developmental preschool and I'm trying to figure out if I can really handle all of that right now BECAUSE....

 ~ Zac started orientation with the Littleton Fire Department today! He will now be in academy for four months. That's four months of leaving our house at 4:45 am and getting home after 6 - he's gonna be one tired fulfilled man. He ALSO got the stomach bug on his first day so he came home this evening...ran in the door and down the steps and that became a routine for the night. Poor baby. If I get it he's dead.

 ~ We got almost a foot of snow.
~ We got NO snow day. You know you're in Colorado when you can barely find the trees in your yard but you still have to drive your kid to school.
~ Brady learned to shovel snow and enjoyed doing it.
~ I found a little shop near our home that sells natural stuff for babies and she is going to help me raise some more money for my Super Corley Bro's Team !
~ I hit menopause... (not really but I feel like it.)

 ~ Trinity is becoming more and more artistic.
~ She is reading much better
~ She is confusing me on a daily basis - seriously. Girl's are a freaking handful and a half and I think I'm glad I got ONE. Not that my boys are a piece of cake but at least I don't have the "oh my, I'm sure I hurt their heart by doing absolutely NOTHING!!!!"

Like I said, it's been a full month. The next four are going to be full in a completely different way - we will be saying goodbye to Zac for basically five days at a time. He will be gone when the kids get up and they will almost be in bed when he gets home - and then he will need to hit the hay early so he can get up before 4 am. And I'm going to be here....trying my best to take care of things at home so that he can do his best in academy.
  I think what I'm worried the MOST about...is that I'm not going to be enough. I told Zac that sometimes when I'm home all day the one message that I read loud and clear all day is that I'm not enough...that I don't have enough time, enough of me...to make every person in our family perfectly happy...including myself. So...I think these four months are going to be good because I'm going to have to realize that I'm a human being ( I'm sorry I ruined it for all of you that really thought I was superwoman clad in a 60's yellow apron with rainbow hair) and that I will never be enough for anyone - that's why we have Jesus. Without the hope of Him, or being able to talk to Him or cry to Him or ask Him for help or thank HIM....I don't quite know how I would manage. Well...that's not true...I've seen it and it wasn't pretty.
  I will do my best and I will mostly love doing my best (some mornings I will rather be to myself which will only be a dream) and then the four months will go by and I will look back at this post and either cry because I was so naive or I will think "wow, look at what we learned...look at what we did!" Anyways, I know February isn't over but I'm not sure I can squeeze anything else into it without exploding. So...it's done for me. These next few days are "no days." I'm going to get rid of stuff and do some deep cleaning and play with some kids. If they can't give me a snow day I'll give myself some "free undocumented days."
Happy March.